American Neighbor
by Benjamin Roberts, 2006

Once upon a time in Harmonyville there was a thriving community that existed in peace and harmony. Despite occasional minor disagreements, the neighbors got along well with each other, and there was a strong sense of togetherness. Then one day one of the neighbors, an upstanding, progressive, and well respected member of the community, suffered a terrible calamity. He and his family were viciously assaulted and attacked in their homes by outside assailants. They suffered serious trauma, injury, and even fatality in the attack. The surrounding neighbors were shocked and dismayed and quickly came to shore up their friends with their support, grief, condolences, assurances, and anything else they could muster. Not long after the victimized neighbor began to act very strange. They accused a household from another neighborhood of conspiring to attack them and, despite their fellow neighbors reasoning with them that there was no merit to their accusations and pleading with them not to do harm to anyone, they viciously attacked their alleged enemies, inflicting much damage and fatality. The neighbor then shocked his community by demanding that they assist him in his ventures no matter what, and threatened that if they did not he would remember their behavior in the future. A shocking turn of events.

Now the peace has been shattered in Harmonyville. The once respected, and often emulated, neighbor is now despised in his community. When driving through the neighborhood he hurls insults like "old fogeys" at them. He now swerves toward their chasing dogs when driving by, trying to run them over and inflict damage. He accuses them of envying his lifestyle and possessions and trying to undermine him. This, despite the fact that in earlier times they were the ones who gave him some of the very same priceless possessions in question. The outcast neighbor has gone even further. Not long ago he threw up a razor wire fence around his entire yard, claiming he needed to protect himself from enemies who were out to get him. A while back he changed the neighborhood street signs near his house from "French Boulevard" to "Freedom Avenue."

But none of that compares to what is now happening. Some of the leading members of this residence are now accusing other members of their own household of being sympathizers with, and soft on the enemy, and have taken the unprecedented steps of curtailing their movements in, around, and away from the house. They have even resorted to listening in on the conversations and calls of those targeted members, and in some cases have locked them in their rooms, claiming such measures make the house safe. It is crystal clear that there is no longer harmony in Harmonyville. But enough with this fairy tale story. It would be nice if it were only a fairy tale. This is real life, and the unfortunate and despised neighbor is none other than us. The United States of America.

"My oh My. How have the mighty fallen apart at the seams." The pre 2000 elections America is unrecognizable in the America we see today. That respected example of nations we knew just six short years ago has been replaced by a despised, overbearing, embarrassing, fear-and-paranoia-driven, shadow of its former self. Just like the make believe neighbor who shattered the tranquillity in Harmonyville. Yet, despite this drastic transformation we are constantly led to believe that everything is normal. Paralleling the fairy tale story case of the neighbor that was attacked, we are told by innocuous and ubiquitous stickers all over our highways, on the backs of cars, to "Support Our Troops."

Now tell me this. Which Americans do you know who do not support our troops? This venture is designed to stifle citizens questions or opposition to our Iraqi misadventure. This sticker should be upgraded to read: